Dealing with Insecurity (Again)

Already knew that life can’t be compared, but why am I still insecure?

Wilbert Arifin
3 min readJan 10, 2022


Photo by Nate Neelson on Unsplash

Ah, the feeling comes back. Again and again, feelings that repeatedly come and go, the old friend : insecurity. The feeling that we never allow, but always come back. Even when you know that life is incomparable, insecurity is still there. But WHY ??

Well, that’s actually a great question! Start with why, always. Whatever the problem is, start with why.

Try asking yourself, why do you feel insecure? What’s the trigger? What are the moments that make you insecure and why?

Is it purely because of comparisons, or because of a lack of self-esteem, or because you just feel stuck, or why?

Different reasons surely will need different treatment.

There are people who are already hardworking, have achieved something but are still insecure. If that’s the case, then the approach is to give understanding that everything has its own pace and what they do, which is hardwork and do their best, is already the best thing they could do.

There are also those who just relax everyday and feel insecure. If that’s the case, in fact, the behavior should be corrected. They has to try much better than that and not just be laz.

Of course it’s not that simple, in every case the reason can take root and take root again. That’s why there are those who can recover quickly from their insecurity, but there are also that have to constantly face it insecurity. The point is you just need to know yourself first.

However, there are some awareness/understanding that you can cultivate to help you pass hrough this insecurity. Some of them are :

1) People’s journeys are simply different

Irrelevant for us, to judge life only from one moment. A simple example of that is comparing people of the same age, when we see them and they are more successful, we are feeling insecure.

It’s irrelevant! Why? Because people’s journeys are different. There are those who are already advanced in the path (has privilege), there are those who want to start but always have to face problems and many more scenario. Even life has its ups and downs, so how can you compare life?

2) Human don’t have the ability to understand all aspects of life

We, humans, cannot judge all aspects of life, let alone the lives of others. What we think of other people have and feel, of course, is not accurate. We don’t know the feelings, the difficulties, the pain & gain. It’s hard to understand, so how are you going to compare?

3) What you see is what they want you to see

It’s simple, what you see is what other people want you to see. Of course the good ones, the bad ones? No way. Is it objective to compare your life with other people’s ?



Wilbert Arifin

A casual learner that love to share my thoughts, especially about mindset & productivity. Hope you learn something from my writing !